Friday, November 11, 2016

Election 2016

I have neglected this place for 7 months.  And I wasn't sure if I'd ever come back.  As indicated in my last post, I am now a mom to a beautiful baby girl, who turned one not too long ago in October.  My life has completely changed:  I went from working as a full time associate attorney in the suburbs of PA to staying home (which is now Colorado) almost every day to take care of my child. I continue to work as much as I can, but it's not like it used to be, not even remotely close. I'm also self-employed now.  My husband and I have our own law practice, so we are small business owners.  

When you have a child, a lot changes. Obviously, my career.  Then there's the whole emotional and psychological thing as well.  You start wanting everything to be perfect for your child.  You want her to be in a perfect world where people are kind, loving  and everything around her is safe.  

My hopes of wanting a kind, loving and safe society for my daughter was shattered on November 8th, 2016 when this country I love, elected Donald Trump as the new president. This event has prompted me to come back to this place as I feel compelled to express my strong emotions about it.

I cried at the outcome of this election. All our lives, we were told and believed that, when you work hard, you can do anything.  Well, Hillary Rodham Clinton worked her ass off, served the public most of her life, and ran twice to become the first female president of the United States of America.  And the outcome?  She lost to an egotistical, narcissistic, women trashing, race discriminating, self-serving reality star who boasted about not having paid taxes for the last 15 plus years and getting away with it. Let's not forget all the women who have made allegations regarding his sexual assaults.  Oh and the fact that he stiffed many blue collar workers, who worked on DT's ostentatious projects.  Yet, it's my understanding that they make up most of the population that voted for him. That tells me that there are still people, who cannot accept a qualified female as a leader of this country. 

I feel gutted, devastated, sad, angry, and despondent.  The media has already started talking about having hope and healing with love.  But I'm having a real difficulty in trying to regain hope and strength after this election.  As a woman, a mother, an immigrant, who has tried to live her life as properly as possible, it is so hard for me to now believe that if my daughter works hard, she will achieve her dreams. (When I say that I lived my life as "properly as possible", I mean that in the sense of working hard, paying my taxes, loving our society and the diversity within, and never robbing anyone of their rights, money, etc.)    

I am scared as to what the next 4 years will bring to this country. But here's what I know about myself and this country:  we will not be defeated by fear. As we commemorate another Veteran's day, we should be reminded of the fearless men and women who served and protected this country.  And in that spirit, I will slowly but surely regain my hope in the best of this country. It helps to have a child, whose innocent face acts as a daily reminder that love trumps hate. 

Monday, March 28, 2016

Things I don't Want to Forget...

Honor recently turned 5 months old.  Yet I feel like I've known her for years. Although she can't utter a word (actually, I swear she says "umma", Korean word for mom, whenever she is upset), it's as if her eyes say everything I need to know.  

I want to remember every single second I spend with her and I know that's impossible.  What I can do is from time to time, jot down some things I don't ever want to forget about Honor and motherhood. Is it strange that writing this post makes me all so very emotional?! I have a sneaking suspicion other moms will understand where I'm coming from :) 

I don't want to forget...
- the sour milk smell in Honor's mouth ...
- the most peaceful and angelic look on her face when she sleeps...
- the way Honor looks around, as if she's got a serious case of FOMO ...
- the way she lights up when she sees her dad... and her dad's face (complete utter elation) upon seeing Honor smile... one day, those two will gang up on me for sure! 
- the shy smile she used to have when she started smiling (oh gosh, when was that?  8 weeks?)...
- her laughter, which for now, is a series of brief chuckles...
- her softest of softest hair... 
- her long fingers all stretched out like jazz fingers when she sleeps...
- how much Honor loves her jumperoo... (very much!)
- the way she flails her arms when she gets excited...
- her "Ahhhahhhhahhhhh" babble..
- the little "hmm..." and "hahhhhh" sighs she lets out while sleeping...
- the way she smells - so clean and milky...
- me putting on Honor's baby lotion so that I can smell like her...
- her serious case of thumb sucking...
- her toots!!!  she has not a care in the world when she toots!!  

I think I can go on and on, but the above are some of the most precious moments I never want to forget.  

p.s. The photos were taken when Honor turned 100 days old, which is a big deal in Korea and almost always celebrated.  With us living so far from our family (they are east coasters), we decided it's more appropriate for our family get together later in October when Honor turns one.  A pretty bad snowstorm hit the town that week, so a small get together we planned with some close friends in town got cancelled.  I decided we should at least get some professional photos taken to memorialize the day. And boy, did Honor behave!!! She was such a ham!!  Afterwards, we went out for some frozen yogurt and pizza at Wholefoods.  It was simply one of the most sublime days of my life.  

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Purchased & Kept

I, like millions of others, purchase so much schtuff online.  However, when it comes to clothes and beauty products, about 50% of what I order gets returned.  Especially clothes. So, I'm thrilled when I order something and end up keeping it. That trip to the UPS is a real pain in the ass. So, I'm happy to share my latest purchased & kept items. 

Dress - I purchased this dress in bright orange last summer during my first trimester. I bought it thinking that I can wear it even after my pregnancy. The cut of the dress fits my no-hips/boy figure and it's super comfy (Who invented elastic waistbands?  Genius!!).  So when I saw this dress in this teal green, and on super sale, it was a no brainer.  #Purchased&Kept.

OTK Waterproof Boot - I once owned a pair of this very expensive OTK boot and it just never fit nor looked good on me despite the glorious reviews I kept seeing everywhere.  I ended up selling it on ebay for less than half the original price.  Ugh... But I finally found my OTKs and it's waterproof to boot (no pun intended!).  I have to give credit to Liz from Sequins and Stripes - I found the boot on her blog.  This pair fits my calves perfectly!!  And it's waterproof!!  #Purchased&Kept.

Exfoliating Scrub - This was purchased after I used a sample.  This scrub leaves my face all-so-clean-and-tingly feeling. Sold! #Purchased&Kept.

Hand Balm - I know, I know.  This has been instagramed and blogged by everrrrybody.  I'm jumping on the bandwagon FINALLY.  Actually, this was given to me as a gift from a dear friend.  And it totally lives up to all the hype I've seen, read, and heard.  Let's say #Gifted&Kept.

So, what are some of your #Purchased&Kept items?  Do share!

Sunday, January 24, 2016

A Very Delayed Update

I can't believe my last post here was on February 21, 2015.  I do recall that I was starting to slow down on my posts and losing motivation + inspiration to continue writing. I was also going through some big changes in my life.  The hubs and I were in the midst of planning our move to Colorado, quitting our comfy jobs, and boom - like that we found out that I was pregnant. 

Why am I back here? I want to document some things worth remembering in my life.  At some point, sharing personal photos and life events on this blog felt a bit like having a reality show... and I kept wondering if my blog was like one of those self-absorbed reality shows... But I kept coming back to this big desire in my heart to document, remember and cherish the small as well as big moments in my life.  

So, here I am!  I will be posting some throwback photos just to recap what's been happening to me since I last wrote here.  And I don't care what anyone thinks or says about this blog.  I'm here writing for myself.  

I actually found out on February 14th of all days.  I used one of those +/- sign thingies and the + sign was really light, so I wasn't 100% sure.  I made the hubs get one of these digital testing kits.  If you ever need to check, just get the digital thingie. 

This was one of the earlier ultrasound photos of our baby girl. Always a HUGE moment for any pregnant moms.

I suffered from morning sickness until week 18.  All I could eat were some fruits, plain bagels, and a lot of neng myun (cold buckwheat noodle dish) and kimchi (everyone knows what this is, right?!!).  

Once the morning sickness passed, the rest of my second trimester and the beginning of third trimester were totally blissful (minus the moving from PA to CO in the midst of second trimester - don't do it if you can help it!!). Ugh - then the latter part of third trimester hit me like a brick, like on a daily basis. The photo above is me, fully preggo, 9 days before I gave birth on October 25, 2015.  What this photo doesn't show are the back aches, sleepless nights, restless leg syndrome, gum infection, and anxiety about my career (more on that later)+ money+ health + giving birth + raising a baby, etc. etc. But all that was totally worth suffering because in the end, I gained the most amazing experience and gift in my life - baby Honor Young Metz: 

Hubs and I call Honor our best attorney work product to date. I mean look at that full head of hair!  Clear eyes! Fast moving strong arms! 

We fall in love with Honor more and more every day.  The kind of love parenthood brings is indescribable in words. And if I think about it too much, I get emotional and start crying. I can't believe my little plus sign on a plastic stick turned into this beautiful angel. She's a miracle.  All babies are.  And for their sake, I hope this world will continue to have more good than bad and lightness than darkness.  

Saturday, February 21, 2015

Pretty Up For Spring

As I pray for the warm weather to hurry its ass up to the present,  I am thinking about lightening up my wardrobe, both in color and texture.  I can't get enough of graphic tees and pleated skirts (this is the case actually throughout the year).  And of course, dainty gold accessories to jazz up the entire look. Aaannnd a roomy tote, a faux leather one like the one above.

Hope you are enjoying your weekend~

p.s. Writing from my bed, listening to Dido.  Perfect for this snowy  cold Saturday.  

a // b // c // d // e

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Excited for Sue's Little - Part 1

One of my best friends, Sue, is expecting a little bundle of miracle  this year.  I am beyond excited!! I volunteered demanded that I design the nursery for her. This is part I.  Part II will have this & that kinda stuff for the little one and Sue too.  

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Before 2014 Ends...Part III

Last post on my trip to LA. Oh, I miss you so much already.

Just another sunny day in La La land.

Went shopping at APC in Beverly Hills- loved too many things there.  Hubs walked out with a pair of raw denim pants.  
The fit is p.e.r.f.e.c.t.

Kelly Wearstler - omg.

Next time, Claire.  Next time.

Fresh Meyer lemons from our family friend's yard.  Thank you for letting us stay at your home. You spoiled us silly.

Treated myself to this mag at the airport on our way back to Philly.  I loved every single page of this issue. 

So peeps, that's it.  2014 is closing its curtains on us.  I have such mixed emotions about the end of 2014 and beginning of 2015.  More so than the recent years.  Perhaps, it's because I turned 40 in 2014... or because I had certain goals I really wanted to achieve in that are still being worked on... or there have been some significant happenings and changes around me (my folks recent move, my husband's newly developed obsession with cycling, my friends having babies...).  I feel anxious yet positively excited about 2015.  One goal remains the same every year:  I'm going to try to make every day count and appreciate all the "good" around me.  

Happy New Year~~
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